by Qateelah bint Abdul-Uzzah was one of the wives of Abu Bakr.[1]
Acceptance of Islam
Scholars disagree upon whether Qateelah accepted Islam with the main reason being that Abu Bakr divorced her prior to Prophethood of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).[2] as well as her daughter Asmaa feeling conflicted of how to address her mother when she visited Madeenah.[3]
Children
Qateelah was the mother of two of Abu Bakr’s children, Abdullah and Asmaa.[4]
Qateelah Visits Al-Madeenah
Qateelah did not migrate to Madeenah however she did visit Asmaa with gifts of cooking fat and cream. Asmaa was not sure how to address the visit by one who remained a polytheist while being her mother who sacrificed for her during birth, to raise her, and showered great love upon her. Qateelah’s choice to remain a polytheist was a choice that did not deserve respect however she was a mother that was entitled to love and respect. Confused and uneasy Asmaa sent a message to her sister Aisha with a request to consult the Prophet (ﷺ) about the matter. The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, “She (Asmaa) must grant her entry (into her home) and she must also accept her gift.”[5]
Around the time of Asmaa’s request of consultation the ayat was revealed that confirmed that Allah did not forbid kindness and generosity in dealings with those who did not try to persecute the believers.[6] The matter established that “Allah loves those who deal with equity”:
“Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes – from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly. ” Quran 60:8 [7]
﴾ لَّا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ ﴿
Narrations: Sahih (Authentic)
Chapter 8: Kindness by a lady who has a husband, to her mother
باب صِلَةِ الْمَرْأَةِ أُمَّهَا وَلَهَا زَوْجٌ
Narrated Asma’: “My mother who was a Mushrikah (pagan, etc.), came with her father during the period of peace pact between the Muslims and the Quraish infidels. I went to seek the advice of the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “My mother has arrived and she is hoping (for my favor).” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Yes, be good to your mother.”[8]
وَقَالَ اللَّيْثُ حَدَّثَنِي هِشَامٌ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، قَالَتْ قَدِمَتْ أُمِّي وَهْىَ مُشْرِكَةٌ فِي عَهْدِ قُرَيْشٍ وَمُدَّتِهِمْ، إِذْ عَاهَدُوا النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَعَ أَبِيهَا، فَاسْتَفْتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقُلْتُ إِنَّ أُمِّي قَدِمَتْ وَهْىَ رَاغِبَةٌ {أَفَأَصِلُهَا} قَالَ “ نَعَمْ صِلِي أُمَّكِ ”
Chapter 29: Giving presents to Al-Mushrikun
(29) باب الْهَدِيَّةِ لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ
Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr: My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and she was a pagan. I said to Allah’s Apostle (seeking his verdict), “My mother has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Yes, keep good relation with her. “[9]
وَقَالَ اللَّيْثُ حَدَّثَنِي هِشَامٌ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، قَالَتْ قَدِمَتْ أُمِّي وَهْىَ مُشْرِكَةٌ فِي عَهْدِ قُرَيْشٍ وَمُدَّتِهِمْ، إِذْ عَاهَدُوا النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَعَ أَبِيهَا، فَاسْتَفْتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقُلْتُ إِنَّ أُمِّي قَدِمَتْ وَهْىَ رَاغِبَةٌ {أَفَأَصِلُهَا} قَالَ “ نَعَمْ صِلِي أُمَّكِ ”
Chapter 18: From the Book Jizyah and Mawaada’ah
كتاب الجزية والموادعة
Narrated Asma ‘bint Abi Bakr: During the period of the peace treaty of Quraish with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), my mother, accompanied by her father, came to visit me, and she was a pagan. I consulted Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! My mother has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relation with her?” He said, “Yes, keep good relation with her.””[10]
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَاتِمٌ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ ابْنَةِ أَبِي بَكْرٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَتْ قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ أُمِّي وَهْىَ مُشْرِكَةٌ فِي عَهْدِ قُرَيْشٍ، إِذْ عَاهَدُوا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَمُدَّتِهِمْ، مَعَ أَبِيهَا، فَاسْتَفْتَتْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إِنَّ أُمِّي قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ، وَهْىَ رَاغِبَةٌ، أَفَأَصِلُهَا قَالَ “ نَعَمْ، صِلِيهَا ”
Chapter 31: From the Book of Gifts
(31) كتاب الهبة وفضلها والتحريض عليها
Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr (ra): My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and she was a Mushrikah (polytheist, idolatress, pagan). I said to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (seeking his verdict), “My mother has come to and she desires to recieve a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her ?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Yes, keep good relation with her.”[11]
حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ مُوسَى، أَخْبَرَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، أَنَّ ابْنَ جُرَيْجٍ، أَخْبَرَهُمْ قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي مُلَيْكَةَ، أَنَّ بَنِي صُهَيْبٍ، مَوْلَى ابْنِ جُدْعَانَ ادَّعَوْا بَيْتَيْنِ وَحُجْرَةً، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَعْطَى ذَلِكَ صُهَيْبًا، فَقَالَ مَرْوَانُ مَنْ يَشْهَدُ لَكُمَا عَلَى ذَلِكَ قَالُوا ابْنُ عُمَرَ. فَدَعَاهُ فَشَهِدَ لأَعْطَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم صُهَيْبًا بَيْتَيْنِ وَحُجْرَةً. فَقَضَى مَرْوَانُ بِشَهَادَتِهِ لَهُمْ.
Chapter 7: To be good to a father (parent) who is a Mushrik
(7) باب صِلَةِ الْوَالِدِ الْمُشْرِكِنَ
Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr: My mother came to me, hoping (for my favor) during the lifetime of the Prophet. I asked the Prophet, “May I treat her kindly?” He replied, “Yes.” Ibn ‘Uyaina said, “Then Allah revealed: ‘Allah forbids you not with regards to those who fought not against you because of religion, and drove you not out from your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them.’…….(Quran 60.8)[12]
حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عُرْوَةَ، أَخْبَرَنِي أَبِي، أَخْبَرَتْنِي أَسْمَاءُ ابْنَةُ أَبِي بَكْرٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَتْ أَتَتْنِي أُمِّي رَاغِبَةً فِي عَهْدِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَسَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم آصِلُهَا قَالَ ” نَعَمْ ”. قَالَ ابْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى فِيهَا {لاَ يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ}
Chapter 554: The Giving Of Sadaqah (Alms) To Non Muslims
(35) باب الصَّدَقَةُ عَلَى أَهْلِ الذِّمَّةِ
Asma‘ said My mother came to me seeking some act of kindness from me during the treaty of the Quraish (at Hudaibiyyah). While she hated Islam and she was a polytheist. I said Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), my mother has come to me while she hates Islam and she is a disbeliever. May I do an act of kindness to her? He replied Yes, do an act of kindness to her.[13]
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ أَبِي شُعَيْبٍ الْحَرَّانِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، قَالَتْ قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ أُمِّي رَاغِبَةً فِي عَهْدِ قُرَيْشٍ وَهِيَ رَاغِمَةٌ مُشْرِكَةٌ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ أُمِّي قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ وَهِيَ رَاغِمَةٌ مُشْرِكَةٌ أَفَأَصِلُهَا قَالَ “ نَعَمْ فَصِلِي أُمَّكِ ”
Chapter 13: Chapter: Dutifulness towards a parent who is an idolater
(13) بَابُ بِرِّ الْوَالِدِ الْمُشْرِكِ
Asma’ bint Abi Bakr said, “In the time of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, my mother came to me hoping (I would be dutiful). I asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, ‘Do I have to treat her well?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied.”[14]حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عُرْوَةَ قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنِي أَبِي قَالَ: أَخْبَرَتْنِي أَسْمَاءُ بِنْتُ أَبِي بَكْرٍ قَالَتْ: أَتَتْنِي أُمِّي رَاغِبَةً، فِي عَهْدِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَسَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: أَصِلُهَا؟ قَالَ: نَعَمْ. قَالَ ابْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ: فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ فِيهَا: {لاَ يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ}.
Chapter 1: The Book of Miscellany
كتاب المقدمات
Asma’ bint Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (May Allah be pleased with her) said: My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), “My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?” He (ﷺ) replied, “Yes, maintain relations with your mother”.[15]
وعن أسماء بنت أبي بكر الصديق رضي الله عنهما قالت: قدمت على أمي وهي مشركة في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، فاستفتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت: قدمت علي أمي وهي راغبة، أفأصل أمي؟ قال: “نعم صلي أمك” ((متفق عليه)).
Chapter 14: The virtue of spending and giving charity to relatives, spouses, children and parents, even if they are idolaters
(14) باب فَضْلِ النَّفَقَةِ وَالصَّدَقَةِ عَلَى الْأَقْرَبِينَ وَالزَّوْجِ وَالْأَوْلَادِ وَالْوَالِدَيْنِ وَلَوْ كَانُوا مُشْرِكِينَ
Asma’ daughter of Abu Bakr reported: I said: Messenger of Allah, my mother, who is inclined or scared has come to me. Should I (even An her position of being opposed to Islam) treat her well? He said: Yes.[16]
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، قَالَتْ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ أُمِّي قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ وَهْىَ رَاغِبَةٌ – أَوْ رَاهِبَةٌ – أَفَأَصِلُهَا قَالَ “ نَعَمْ ”.
Asma’ bint Abu Bakr reported: My mother who was a polytheist came to me when he (the Holy Prophet) entered into treaty with, the Quraish (of Mecca). I inquired from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying: Messenger of Allah, there has come to me my mother and she is inclined; should I (in this state of her mind) show her kindness? He said: Yes, treat her kindly.[17]
وَحَدَّثَنَا أَبُو كُرَيْبٍ، مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْعَلاَءِ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أُسَامَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ بِنْتِ أَبِي بَكْرٍ، قَالَتْ قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ أُمِّي وَهِيَ مُشْرِكَةٌ فِي عَهْدِ قُرَيْشٍ إِذْ عَاهَدَهُمْ فَاسْتَفْتَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَدِمَتْ عَلَىَّ أُمِّي وَهْىَ رَاغِبَةٌ أَفَأَصِلُ أُمِّي قَالَ “ نَعَمْ صِلِي أُمَّكِ
Notes
- Jump up↑ The Biography of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq by Dr. ‘Ali Muhammad as-Sallābi, Ch. 1, p. 34
- Jump up↑ At-Tabaqaat, by Ibn Sa’ad (3/169), (8/249)
- Jump up↑ The Biography of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq by Dr. ‘Ali Muhammad as-Sallābi, Ch. 1, p. 34
- Jump up↑ The Biography of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq by Dr. ‘Ali Muhammad as-Sallābi, Ch. 1, p. 34
- Jump up↑ Sahih al-Bukhari 5979, Book 78, Hadith 10: Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab) – كتاب الأدب
- Jump up↑ Sahih Al-Bukhari 5978, Book 78, Hadith 9: Book 78 Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab) Book of Zakat – (7) باب صِلَةِ الْوَالِدِ الْمُشْرِكِ
- Jump up↑ Sahih International Translation
- Jump up↑ Sahih al-Bukhari 5979, Book 78, Hadith 10: Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab) – كتاب الأدب
- Jump up↑ Sahih al-Bukhari 2620, Book 51, Hadith 52: Book of Gifts – كتاب الهبة وفضلها والتحريض عليها
- Jump up↑ Sahih al-Bukhari 3183, Book 58, Hadith 25: Book of Jizyah and Mawaada’ah – كتاب الجزية والموادعة
- Jump up↑ Sahih Muslim 2624, Book 51, Hadith 56: Book of Gifts – كتاب الزكاة
- Jump up↑ Sahih Al-Bukhari 5978, Book 78, Hadith 9: Book 78 Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab) Book of Zakat – (7) باب صِلَةِ الْوَالِدِ الْمُشْرِكِ
- Jump up↑ Sunan Abi Dawud 1668, Book 9, Hadith 113: 9 Zakat (Kitab Al-Zakat) – كتاب الزكاة – Sahih (Al-Albani): صحيح (الألباني) حكم
- Jump up↑ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 25 Book 1, Hadith 23: Book 1 – Parents – كتاب الزكاة – Sahih (Al-Albani): كتاب الْوَالِدَيْنِ
- Jump up↑ Riyad as-Salihin Book 1, Hadith 325 – The Book of Miscellany – كتاب المقدمات
- Jump up↑ Sahih Muslim 1003 a, Book 12, Hadith 61 – Book 12: Zakat – كتاب الزكاة
- Jump up↑ Sahih Muslim 1003 b, Book 12, Hadith 62 – Book 12: Zakat – كتاب الزكاة